Give a girl a break
I am the education director at an Aesthetics and Cosmetology school. I manage a staff of 12 women and 50 students that are also all women. The ages of my little brood run from 16 to 50. As you could guess, life does get a little girly, a little too emotional and I get the unfortunate opportunity to experience the all too familiar hurtful gossip. I am usually prepared to handle most situations that pop up. But, the other day I was caught off guard.
I was sitting at my desk going through the monthly grades and attendance schedules when I received a call. It was one of my newer students. She is 19 yrs old, single, has a 1 yr old and is newly pregnant. I was worried about her schooling even before the pregnancy. She seemed to be pulled in many directions and just in her first week of school, she seemed to not be able to accomplish all she had to.
So, this day, as I was doing the grades, I realized she wasn’t at school. I assumed she was out partying and couldn’t get out of bed. I had already decided that she created her own problems and she was solely responsible for said problems, then I answered the phone. “Hello” , I said. This student replied with “Hi, I am sorry I am not at school today but I am in the hospital.” I was slightly skeptical of this claim. We have many girls that have endless doctor’s notes. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked her what was wrong. She told me that she had cramping and ended up going to the hospital. They told her that she had an ectopic pregnancy and that if the egg didn’t move, she would need surgery. She stayed overnight under doctors orders and first thing in the morning called me to let me know why she wasn’t in school. This student sounded scared and sad. She sounded like she may not be able to manage much further. By late the following afternoon, after remaining on bed rest, the egg had found its way through her fallopian tubes and into her uterus. Although she sounded incredibly tired, she also sounded relieved.
As I thought of that moment of judgement I laid upon my student, I was ashamed. She sincerely was sick and scared. She had moments of sadness and of joy. Who was I to think I understood what was happening in her life those few days? Although the egg is now where it should be, this student has to remain on bed rest. I hope that her courage gets her through her pregnancy, but also I hope that if this pregnancy doesn’t remain viable, that she has better people surrounding her. I hope that she has people that believe in her and support her. I have learned a lesson of compassion. I have learned that there are many people that surround us that are kind and good. I have learned that even very early on in a pregnancy that the thought of miscarriage can be scary and devastating. And finally I have learned that all good and kind people deserve the right to experience parenthood, not just those that fit the mold.
