Feelings of Isolation Are Common After a Miscarriage

Feelings of Isolation Are Common After a MiscarriageEven if you have the most loving partner in the world, the fact remains that the physical part of the miscarriage happened to you, and it is probable that you will experience feelings of isolation. Many women think that they are somehow to blame because they have had a miscarriage, but a pregnancy is so complex that any number of things can go wrong and cause it to end. Guilt is the first feeling that should be put aside, and consciously shunting this negative emotion away is a good way to help overcome your feelings of isolation.

It really doesn’t matter how far along the pregnancy was when the miscarriage occurred, you and your partner are still going to be upset, and the woman, especially, will have to go through the stages of grief before feeling more balanced again. A miscarriage has different effects on different couples, and can strengthen a relationship or cause strain.

Not only do men conceal their emotions more than do women, but the man has not had the physical experience, either. Many times, the man is hurting as much as the woman, but is unable to communicate this. The best thing to do is to keep talking and offering as much comfort to one another as possible. Thinking of the other person can lead to a greater attachment and a stronger relationship.

You will probably be very bothered at times by family members and friends after you have had a miscarriage. It is sometimes astounding what absolutely inane and insensitive words can tumble out of someone’s mouth.

Telling you that you can try again or that it was only the beginning of the pregnancy are two of the most common stupid things people will say. Others will tell you how disappointed they are that you didn’t manage to have the baby. Try to understand that these people have never been through what you are going through and in most cases are just trying to say something that they think will make you feel better. They have no idea how wrong they are though.

As with any loss, there will be a progression through the grief process, ranging from denial and anger finally to acceptance. Feelings of isolation are common and are part of the healing that will eventually take place. Time is a healer of our wounds, and while the memory of the lost child will never really fade, you will find the strength over a period of months to look upon the miscarriage as a part of life, not as a life-stopping tragedy.

Breaking out of your feeling of isolation can be easier if you are able to change your routine in some way. Taking even a weekend break with your partner can help to overcome some of the sadness and becoming interested in something new, such as a hobby, will also serve to distract you and get you back into the mainstream of life.

It’s never easy to overcome the feelings of isolation after you have had a miscarriage, but you owe it to yourself, your partner, and the child you lost to accept what happened. Honor the child by planting a tree or a beautiful flowering shrub in the child’s honor – it will serve as a memorial and a reminder at how precious each life is.


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