There is an unfortunate tendency for even those who may care about a woman to dismiss the emotional pain she feels after a miscarriage. Although the partner of the woman is seldom considered, in many cases the man feels just as much pain and disappointment, and will also be worrying about the woman in addition. A miscarriage is such an unfortunate event because it dashes the hopes and dreams that the prospective parents had.

Most miscarriages will result in no permanent physical harm, but the first thing to do will to make sure that there is no medical problem present. Discovering a reason for the miscarriage will help to assure that it doesn’t happen again. If your doctor doesn’t listen to you or minimizes the problem, look for another physician.

When you’ve suffered a miscarriage, your first thought will be to try to explain how you feel to those who are closest to you, such as friends or relatives. Unfortunately, although these people may mean well, they often say insensitive and thoughtless things such as “You can still have other children” or “There was probably something wrong with it”. This was the baby you were anticipating, regardless of anything else, and comments like this only diminish the potential the child may have had. Talking to other women who have had miscarriages is one way to connect with someone who understands and shares your pain.

You and your partner may also find help just by getting away for a while. If it’s possible, try to take a vacation, a change of scene can help you to come to terms with the miscarriage. This is not about forgetting, it’s about taking some time to spend with yourselves and letting the world go on for a while without you. My aunt was extremely upset and depressed after she had a miscarriage at 3 months, so my uncle took her on a trip to simply give her some distance between herself and the miscarriage. Just getting away for a couple of weeks did help her to adjust to the miscarriage and start to look ahead again.

The internet is another way to find help after you have experienced a miscarriage. The social networks online allow you to connect with others who have gone through this problem, and lets you vent your feelings in an anonymous fashion. Just being able to say exactly what is in your mind, without having to hold back, can be a healing experience in itself.

Support groups exist because people often need the understanding and compassion that they can provide. Although the internet does provide support groups and an excellent outlet for your feelings, we are also social beings who do derive comfort by being around others with whom we share a problem or sorrow. Most states and larger cities have miscarriage support groups that will not only get you out of the house, but also give you the chance to interact directly with those who have had the same experiences.

If you and your partner have tried without success to accept what has happened, and are unable to proceed with your lives, professional counseling may be the answer. Many counselors have gone through this experience themselves and can provide the sympathy and guidance you may need to get through this difficult part of your life.